This one is for everyone that has ever got stressed out about not being able to fit in the things you want to do around the things you need to do.

I suck at this.

So… I’ve been slacking. Anyone empathise?

I’m sure you’ve all have had that moment (or a lot of moments) where you’re doing something (or not) and just question if you’re doing it right, or whether you should be doing it at all?

Yeah, that’s what I’m wondering.

I started my blog because I wanted to have a project outside of my full-time job – something to allow me to be creative and have something to show for it.

But, checking my homepage I realise my last post was over THREE months ago!

Blogging requires posting frequently and I haven’t been. Just because it’s a side-project, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t stick to a schedule. Or does it? Now, I’m just second-guessing what the point of this is. I shouldn’t be stressing about it because it’s meant to be for fun and stressing isn’t fun.

Instead of accepting that I’ve inadvertently taken a blogging break and taking the time to recharge, I’m just getting worked up over it. My health hasn’t been great recently (something I’m not sure whether to go into here or not yet) and when I get in from work I’m too exhausted to do anything.

What I’m doing wrong

1. Not having enough time

Or should I phrase that to be ‘not making enough time’?

I’m at work all day – I’m not an early riser, as I suffer from insomnia from time to time, so during the week, getting up early to blog before work is a no-go and the evenings are the only time I have left. Except that’s when I have dinner, spend time with the boyfriend and see friends. Plus, being sat at a screen all day in an office then continuing to do that well into the evening cases headaches (literally and metaphorically).

Also, we’ve been looking to buy a house since the New Year, (no luck so far) and if you’re familiar with the process, you’ll know that you need to book viewings as soon as you have a spare minute free, which, yes, of course, is after work. There is a lot to cram in! I am busy, yeah… but am I really more busy than everyone else who has a full-time job and other responsibilities? This is something I wondered before – we’re always ‘on’ so we always feel rushed off our feet and so the things we enjoy and don’t ‘need’ to do get pushed to the side.

So what about the weekends when I’m not at work?

As I’m sure, this happens to everyone, no matter what you want to do, the weekends end up jam-packed with plans with people you can’t see during the week, the things you need to do, the things you don’t need to do but feel obliged to and suddenly you haven’t got any time left to yourself.

When do you have time after all that, you just feel too mentally and physically tired to do anything other than veg in front of the TV.

2. Not finishing posts

I contacted the lovely Primrose, who you probably already know blogs at Style Petal, to ask for her input into a post that I’m writing on Influencer Marketing and I’m also writing a collaboration post with Luke Christian about getting your motivation back (ironic lol) and I feel sooo bad that I haven’t published them yet!

The first post is written, so I don’t know why but I decided it needed to go more in depth. It needed to be the MOST DETAILED post ever written on influencer marketing. And it snowballed into a post that is longer than a dissertation and I can’t seem to structure it or put it into a logical order.

So, now I’m thinking it’s too long and messy and the perfectionist in me is not satisfied with posting it. I know I’ll end looking like this when it’s finished 👇 (and so will anyone who reads it).

(I’m sorry for being crap! I promise I’ll get around to publishing it).

So, not wanting to deal with the imperfect post that I’ve already started, I decided to write this one 😂. Which leads into the next point —> that I’m too much of a perfectionist.

3. Having too many expectations

I just have to admit it. I can’t do everything all at once. I’m not a robot.

The perfectionist side of me wants every single post to have high-quality photos that I’ve created myself that are also relevant. For example, if I’m writing about office culture or fashion, I’d want a photo of me in the office. Can you imagine? Me lying on a desk in the middle of an open-plan office posing for a camera, like, “what are you looking at, Barbara from Procurement?!” It’s just not always possible to create the vision in my head, which is why I end up with a long list of ideas and unfinished blog posts.

4. Freaking out about what I’m not doing

Argh, I haven’t scheduled any Twitter content to promote my posts… I need to go and take loads of photos for Instagram, I’ve got to spend three hours commenting on other people’s blogs, I’ve not replied to that email about car tyres, I’ve been meaning to make business cards for four months now!

Okay, THIS does not help. I will always do this though, it’s just the way I am!

I’m happy that just one person has read my blog, so that is what I’m going to focus on – there is at least one person who’s read what I’ve written!

What I’m going to do instead

1. Low stats equal low mood Don’t let stats affect me!

So many bloggers comment that when the stats go down, so does their mood. We really shouldn’t let this get to us. (Easier said than done).

I haven’t posted frequently on my site or on Instagram and the unfollows ensue and the page numbers drop. Ugh. I’ve put in so much effort for people to become disinterested. I know why they are low, so I know how to fix it. Frequent and quality posting is key to an engaged audience and I can’t expect numbers to rise when there’s nothing new to see.

There really is no point getting bummed out about something that really doesn’t matter all that much.

I’m happy that just one person has read my blog, so that is what I’m going to focus on – there is at least one person who’s read what I’ve written!

2. Don’t compare

“Comparison Is the Thief of Joy“

Yeah, there’s something in that.

I look at bloggers who have been doing this for years, turned it into their full-time career and churn out quality content consistently, alongside going to events and travelling and I think ‘wow, that’s amazing, why can’t my blog be like that?’.

Well, it can’t. Because this is just a hobby that I do after work and at the weekends (when I can – see point 1 above!). I shouldn’t feel bad about my work because of comparison. So, I haven’t posted in a while… I can’t compare that to someone whose literal job is to do just that.

You know that saying ‘you have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyoncé’? It’s meant to be motivational, but it’s not.

True, you can’t make more time, but no one is in the same position as her. If you’re a single parent, who works a day job and are trying to make it as a musician, comparing your success as a musician to Beyoncé’s isn’t logical. She has a huge support network, people who’ll look after her children when she can’t, assistants, cleaners, chefs, etc etc etc. So, she has as much time as she needs to put 100% effort and concentration into her craft. You get the point.

Everyone’s journey is different, so just be proud of what you’ve achieved 🙂

3. REST and don’t make myself ill

There’s a reason I took a break (even though I didn’t mean to). I’ve had some difficult months and instead of just focusing on my health and my family, I’ve been beating myself up about not doing enough for my blog. And that’s been making it worse.

In the future, I’ll just listen to what my body’s saying, post a little notice on the blog saying ‘be back soon’ and don’t worry. This is for fun and I don’t know why I’m putting pressure on myself.

Thanks for reading, if you made it this far! Do let me know if you’ve ever felt the same and if you have some advice to share.